#11 – Praying For A Savior On Capitol Hill

There is something about Televangelists preaching on TV that just draws me in.  I usually can’t help but watch their sermons.  Maybe it’s kind of like the need to look at a bad car accident.  You know you should turn away, but you just can’t.  I was watching a Televangelist the other day and he was talking about the “end times.”  One would think that the obvious purpose of a sermon about the end of the world would be to talk about Jesus coming back to redeem and renew everything that had once been lost or broken.  But that wasn’t his main point.  In fact, I don’t recall him ever mentioning Jesus at all.  His main thesis was, “I personally believe that we are currently in the “end times.”  I believe this because the Bible says an anti-Christ will rise to power in the last days.  This anti-Christ will have the appearance of being good, and will be loved by many.  But in reality, he will be evil.”

At this point, he began talking about Barak Obama and his stance on abortion.  Basically, he was inferring that Barak Obama could be the anti-Christ.  Obama is loved by many, has great power, and appears to be good but is really evil.  I wish I was making this up.  At this point I began to imagine what Jack Bauer would do to this preacher if he was alone in a room with him for 5 minutes.  I started to chuckle when I thought about Jack shooting the preacher in the kneecap…and I thought it was probably time that I turned the channel.

I am not sure of many things in my life…but I am sure of this; Barak Obama is not the anti-Christ.  Nor is he the savior of the world.

George W. Bush was not the anti-Christ, nor was he the savior.
Bill Clinton was not the anti-Christ, nor was he the savior.
George H. Bush was not the anti-Christ, nor was he the savior.

…and the list goes on and on.  44 different men have been the President of the United States.  Some of them have done great things and some of them have done horrendous things.  But none of them have been the anti-Christ and none of them have been the Savior of the world.

Despite this fact, every election year numerous Christians pray that their party’s candidate (Republican or Democrat) be elected and that the other evil candidate (Republican or Democrat) is not elected.  Both sides feel their side is right and the other is completely wrong.  I remember the facebook and twitter updates from people on the night that Barak Obama was elected.  On one side people were saying, “God help our country.  Obama has won…God forgive our sinful nation.”  On the other side people were saying, “Thank you God, Obama has won!  God, bless our country.”

How is it that each side truly believes that their side is right and the other side is wrong?  That their candidate is right and the other candidate is wrong?  That their political party is God’s party and the other party is anti-God?  How do we reconcile what we believe to be the “biblical” values or our party of choice with the non-biblical values that our party embraces?  What if we are against abortion but we support gay rights?  What if we are against the war but support a small government?

Do we support both of the parties or neither or the parties?

“Savior on Capitol Hill” by Derek Webb
I’m so tired of these mortal men
With their hands on their wallets and their hearts full of sin
Scared of their enemies, scared of their friends
And always running for re-election
So come to DC if it be thy will
Because we’ve never had a savior on Capitol Hill

You can always trust the devil or a politician
To be the devil or a politician
But beyond that friends you’d best beware
’Cause at the Pentagon bar they’re an inseparable pair
And as long as the lobbyists are paying their bills
We’ll never have a savior on Capitol Hill

All of our problems gonna disappear
When we can whisper right in that President’s ear
He could walk right across the reflection pool
In his combat boots and ten thousand dollar suit

You can render unto Caesar everything that’s his
You can trust in his power to come to your defense
It’s the way of the world, the way of the gun
It’s the trading of an evil for a lesser one
So don’t hold your breath or your vote until
You think you’ve finally found a savior up on Capitol Hill

#10 – Taking Ourselves Too Seriously

Christians need to lighten up.  Stop being so boring and serious all the time.  I came across this video last night of a kid who had just left the dentist office where he received some laughing gas.  I laughed until my guts hurt.  Enjoy.

#9 – Majoring On The Minors and Minoring On The Majors

I confess – I like Grey’s Anatomy.  I got hooked on the show by a good friend a few years back and have not been able to kick the addiction.  A couple months ago I was reading an article online about one of Grey’s characters that had just gotten fired from the show.  The character in the show had recently discovered that she preferred a homosexual lifestyle to a heterosexual lifestyle.  This lasted less than a dozen episodes before she got the ax.  Producers said her character wasn’t developing as they had hoped.  What I found really interesting though was one of the comments a women posted online about the article.  Her screenname was SavedChristian…go figure.  The following is a paraphrase of her comment about the article:

“Praise the Lord that she was fired!  I love Grey’s Anatomy but I had to stop watching the show because of this lesbian relationship!  God does not approve of it.  Now I can start watching again.  Yahoo!!!”

Holy crap, with a cherry on top.

She was absolutely ripped by the people who commented after her.  People who were not Christians were saying things like:

“So you have no problem with the rest of the show?!  I don’t know much about the Bible, but I’m pretty sure getting drunk and committing adultery are sins too and they happen almost every episode.  You are a judgmental hypocrite and people like you are the reason I don’t go to church.”

I would argue that comment is more “Christ-like” than the first woman’s comment.

Many Christians today are majoring on the minors and minoring on the majors.  What I mean by that is they are focusing on the things that aren’t the most important and are not focusing on the things that are the most important.  I’m about to open a can of worms here, but here is a list of things I believe Christians spend way too much time focusing on:

1. Abortion

2. Homosexuality

3. Gay Marriage

4. War

5. Politics

A lot of you are probably picturing fundamental right-wing Christians right now, but I’m talking about both sides of the table.  Whatever their view may be (conservative or liberal), Christians are spending way too much time fighting for or against those issues.

Here is a list of the majors I think we should be focusing on more:

1. Jesus

The end.

#8 – Giving In Order To Get (i.e. Tax Returns)

I was visiting a church one time and they had a special announcement about year-end giving.  The announcement sounded something like this: “This is the final week of the year, so make sure you get your gifts turned in on time for you to be able to report them on your taxes for this year.”  And when I was employed at a church the final two days of the year were always some of the busiest days in the office because so many people made special trips in to give money before the year ended.

Does this bother anybody else?

Don’t get me wrong, I love getting my tax return every year and the more I get, the happier I am.  But I can’t help but feel there is something intrinsically and theologically wrong with the year-end giving rush.  And not only with that, but also with the whole “give in order to get mentality.”  Do we realize what we are communicating to God when we do this?  We are saying, “God, I do care about giving to the church and supporting the work you are doing through the church…but I care most about giving to the church when I can get something back in return.”

I just looked…unfortunately there aren’t any verses in the bible that talk about giving in relation to tax returns.  If there were any, they might sound something like this:

Mark 10:21 – Speaking to the rich young ruler, Jesus said, “Now go, sell all of your possessions and give them to the poor.  But make sure you hurry as there is only a few days left for you to be able to file it on this year’s tax return.  Then you will have treasures in heaven…plus a little somthin’ somethin’ here on earth…courtesy of God and the IRS.”

I dare you to give anonymous cash only to your church this year and not report it on your tax return (I’m not a CPA so I’m not sure if this is even legal…someone please tell me if it isn’t).

Even if we don’t give for the purpose of a tax return check, how many of us give for the purpose of a returned “blessing” from God?  Like if we give, God has some an obligation to give us some kind of blessing in return.  We often hope this blessing is money…but we’ll take about any blessing we can get.  What if we give something away and we never see any return on it?  Is God any less good, loving or just?

What would it look like if we gave with reckless abandon?

What would it look like if we gave without the expectation that God owes us something for giving?

What if we were like the early believers and shared all of our possessions with each other without the feeling of ownership?

What if by sharing and pooling our resources together, we could give more away to people who need it more than us?

I’ve been told by another “Christian” that we can’t do this because it’s socialism.  If you tell me that is socialism and therefore we can’t do it I will slap you – and so would Jesus.

#7 – Stealing For The Glory Of God

Out of all the things I have written about thus far, this has been and will continue to be the one I am most guilty of.

Yes, I am a hypocrite.

Christians are great at justifying stealing.  Usually when we do it we will use spiritual language or reasons to explain the necessity of being a thief.  If there is no spiritual reasoning behind it, we simply ignore it and try to pretend like it’s no big deal.

I was recently without internet for two weeks.  For the last year and a half my neighbors have had wireless internet with no password protection.  I had full strength, high speed internet for over a year at my neighbors expense.  They finally put a password on their wireless signal so we had to bite the bullet and get our own internet.  I have no spiritual explanation for this one…I am just a thief.  What if every time they paid to fill their gas tank up in their car I waited until they went to bed and then went around town for a joyride.  Is it really any different?  Even after the password was put on their wireless signal I had friends and family send me tips on how to hack their router password so I could continue to steal from them.  Now before you go judging them, know that I asked them how to do it and even attempted it — with no success.

There are numerous other things we steal.  Examples include but are not limited to the following:

*Please note that you may only be aware of some of these if you have ever worked in a church setting.  If you haven’t, take note of what we church leaders do on a regular basis.

1. Illegally Downloading Songs – “But everyone does it.”  That’s what a 30 year old Minnesota woman probably said before she illegally downloaded 24 songs.  Then she was fined $220,000. It’s even better when worship leaders steal songs so they can learn how to play them and use them in church.  Just so we are clear here…we are stealing (sin) to worship (not sin).  We are sinning to not sin.  Makes sense…

2. Ripping Movie Clips For Sermons – Using movie clips for sermon illustrations became all the rage about 5 years ago.  For all you preachers out there…it is no longer the rage, please stop.  Anyways, you know that little paragraph at the beginning of a DVD that you always try to skip through but can’t.  You know, the one that talks about the FBI and fines and stuff.  That is real.  But I guess since it’s for a sermon it’s ok, right?

3. Plagiarizing In Sermons – I know there is really nothing new under the sun.  There aren’t many ideas out there that have not already been conceived.  So why do pastors always pretend like their idea is their own when they give a sermon (myself included).  I’m willing to bet that a majority of sermons you hear are simply cut and paste from whatever Christian book the pastor is reading at the time.  And that’s not a good thing. I think at the end of sermons, pastors should start to hand out a bibliography in APA style with all of their references they used during their sermon.  If most Pastor’s sermons were turned in as a college paper, they would be put on academic probation for plagiarism.

4. Not Paying People What They Deserve – My friend Justin wrote about this a couple weeks ago. Christians are the worst tippers…ever.  We don’t pay people what we should pay them and pass it off as being a good steward of our money.  What we are really doing is stealing their paycheck.  Check out his post for a more in depth explanation of this.

5. Stealing The Offering – I don’t mean literally taking money out of the collection plate as it passes by you…though I have thought about that before.  Do you give money to a church?  Do you know where it goes?  Have you ever asked for an expense report?  How much of your money is going to pay for buildings and programs instead of people?  Maybe you’re ok with that…but let me present something else to you (confession time).  I used to be employed by a church.  I earned a decent salary, more than I make now in fact.  My salary came from people giving money to the church.  You know what I did most of the time during the work week?  I played frisbee golf or killer bunnies.  I bought and read books and drank expensive coffee.  I bought useless crap for youth ministry events that no students ever came to.  I sat around and played guitar.  Sure, I had some productive hours during the week.  But for the most part I was stealing peoples’ gifts to the church.  Is every church leader like this?  No…most of them have a lot more integrity than I do.  But a good number of them are just like me.

I could go on and on with things that we constantly steal and play it off like it’s no big deal.  Need I remind us that God isn’t a big fan of stealing?  What about you…what are you guilty of stealing because you think it’s no big deal?  Do you think God cares when you illegaly download music?  Are you going to change your habits or deny them like myself?

Coming Soon…

Hey blog friends…sorry for the recent hiatus.  I have not had internet at home for the last couple weeks.  Look for an upcoming post in the next day or two as to why I was without internet.  I’ll give you a hint; it involves stealing.  In the meantime, check out an amazing post by my great friend, Josh.  If you dare to read it, prepare to be convicted, challenged and possibly pissed off.  I know he would expect nothing less.

#6 – Misunderstanding The “Blessings” Of God

The other day I was riding in a car with somebody and we were looking for a parking spot in a crowded lot.  The driver happened to find a spot very close to the entrance of the building and made the statement, “looks like it was my turned to be blessed.”  The more I thought about that phrase the more it bugged me.  Why is a good parking spot of blessing from God?  Is it a blessing from God, or is it due to the fact that you were driving down an aisle as somebody else was leaving?

I’ve also heard this phrase in situations with money.  For example; a few years ago I was with someone who was buying something at a store.  He paid cash for the item and the cashier gave him too much money back.  On our way out of the store he said, “I guess God knew I needed it.”  Really?  Because I thought what happened is that the cashier messed up and gave you too much money, then you lied and stole and disguised it as a blessing from God.  And if you really needed the money, did you also need to video game you just spent your money on?

I know all life can be spiritual…I’m not denying that.  But does God really care about your parking spot?  Maybe the “blessing” in the situation would be to pass by the spot close by the door and give it to the person who is driving behind you.  Maybe to make that situation a spiritual situation we need to humble ourselves and give up our parking spot to someone else.

Maybe the blessing is that we have to park far away and start to walk off the McDonalds value meal we just put into our bodies.

What do you think?  Does God care about your parking spot?  When you get a good spot is it a blessing from God?  What about when you get a bad spot…is God choosing not to bless you?

#5 – Making Kool-Aid

I grew up in a small town and attended your typical small town church.  You know, the kind of church that smells like a potluck 100% of the time and holds boy scouts meetings and hangs an American flag and Iowa Flag on either side of the Cross of Jesus.  The kind of church where you only see your friends from school there on Easter and Christmas.  The kind of church where they have absolutely no idea how to make kool-aid.

That’s right…they can’t make kool-aid.  Every child knows the kool-aid formula: A package of kool-aid, a cup of sugar, cold tap water filled to 90% capacity of your pitcher, and a long wooden spoon to stir.  It’s simple.

Yet, every week I would show up to church and sit through Sunday school and then I would sprint downstairs to make sure I got one of the cream filled long john doughnuts and a cup of the red drink.  Every week I would hope and pray that they had finally figured out the formula, but every week I would leave disappointed.  It was always way too watered down.  I’m not so sure they didn’t just add red food coloring to water.

I thought my church was the only one in town who possessed a severe lack of intelligence on how to make kool-aid.  It turned out that my buddies at other local churches were experiencing the same torment.  After years of being involved in the Christian Church of America, I now realize that this is a national epidemic and it must be stopped.

Please, give the kids kool-aid instead the mysterious red drink.

Did any of you experience the same torment growing up?  Remember when there used to be a whole section of the grocery store dedicated to the 50 flavors of kool-aid?  Share your thoughts.

#4 – Playing Secular Songs At Church To “Draw People In.”

*Please note that throughout this post, I will refer to musicians and music as “Christian” or “Secular.”  Christian music refers to artists or songs typically found in the Contemporary Christian music market, while secular music refers to anything outside of the Christian music market.  However, please know that many “secular” songs often draw me into a deeper communion with God than many “Christian” songs do.

I place myself at the front of the list on this one.  Being a musician who has been involved in worship music in the Church for the better part of 10 years, I have been guilty of this too many times to count.  If you are a worship leader or musician in the church, you know how this works.  If you are not, let me explain to you our typical process – step by step.

Step #1 – After scanning through radio stations for something to sing along with, you discover a new song by Nickelback.  The song has a good beat and you feel it really rocks.  There is no cussing in the lyrics, therefore it goes into the bank-o-possibilities for church use.

Step #2 – Illegally download the song and listen closer to the lyrics.

Step #3 – Try to read into the lyrics too much to see if the song could possibly be interpreted to be about God.

Step #4 – Realize the song is actually about making love to a girl.

Step #5 – Change two words in the second verse so that it sounds like it’s about God.

Step #6 – Bring it to the band to learn.  Explain to them that the band should start playing secular songs when people are walking in to church ever week.

Step #7 – The bass player asks “why?”

Step #8 – You give a convincing argument.  Stating, “When the band plays secular songs as people are walking in, it immediately connects people to the church.  People who are coming in may be resistant to church, but if we play a song they know, they will feel connected.  It will break down walls.  They will think to themselves, ‘Hey, I know this song!  I heard it on Star 102.5.  These guys rock!  They are just real people who listen to Nickelback like me!’”

Step #9 – Try to sing the song and realize you sound nothing like the lead singer of Nickelback.

Step #10 – Perform it in church anyways.

So that’s how it works.  We play the song, and think we’ve done our job of drawing people in and getting them connected.

Now let me explain to you the process for someone who is new to church and is experiencing their first worship service in a long time – step by step.

Step #1 – Finally work up the courage to step foot inside of a church for the first time in 8 years.

Step #2 – Pull into the church parking lot and get cut off by some jerk who takes your parking spot (turns out it is one of the church elders).

Step #3 – Walk towards the doors and get greeted by someone from the “greeting team.”

Step #4 – Walk to your seat in the back and realize that nobody else is greeting you.  Make the assumption that only the “greeting team” handles making new people feel welcome.

Step #5 – Observe a band of middle-aged men on stage.

Step #6 – Drop your jaw as you realize that they are playing a Nickelback song.

Step #7 – Try to add things up in your head: There is a 7 piece band of middle-aged men on stage.  They are wearing large sweaters.  They have 2 acoustic guitar players, a keyboard player, a drummer, a conga player, a bass player, and a really crappy electric guitar player.  They all have vocal mics and are singing the melody in unison.  They are playing a Nickelback song.

Step #8 – Observe that they sound absolutely nothing like Nickelback.

Step #9 – Try to contain your laughter.

Step #10 – Think of the old Saturday Night Live skit with Will Ferrell and Anna Gasteyer, and come to the conclusion that this band sounds more like them than they do Nickelback.

Despite all this, I personally still have the reoccurring urge to throw in a cool secular song as people are walking in to church.  But I keep coming back to 1 Samuel 16:7

The Lord does not look at the things man looks at.  Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.

When we choose to play a secular song to “draw people in,” we are choosing to no longer make it about the heart, but instead about the performance.  We are asking people to judge us and to judge our church based upon how good our band is.  Playing skillfully is important (Psalm 33:3), but it is not the most important thing.  And to be honest, there is a reason why the people on the radio are on the radio and there is a reason why you and I are most likely not on the radio.  We are trying to sound like someone else (and probably are not doing a good job of it) and are asking people to critique how close we sound to them.

The other problem with this whole issue is the thought that we will draw people in and get them connected by just playing a secular song.  I am reminded of Jesus’ words in John 12:32.

“When I am lifted up, I will draw all people to myself.”

If we truly want to draw people in…to make them feel connected, then lift Jesus up.  What is more compelling than the redemptive message of the cross?  Nothing else that we can do will draw people in as much as Christ and Him crucified.  Sing about Jesus.  Teach about Jesus.  Talk about Jesus.  Pray about Jesus.  Think about Jesus.  Focus on Jesus.   Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.

He will draw people in.  He will allow people to feel connected.  He will break down walls.

#3 – Accepting Christian Books As Absolute Truth

This is one I have been guilty of many times in my life.  Christians are unbelievably great at neglecting all critical thinking skills and understandings of God when reading a Christian book.  For some reason, we read the books and think that the writer somehow has this secret knowledge or inside information about God that no one else has discovered before.  We then accept everything in the book as 100% truth and fail to do any biblical research or critical thinking on our own.  We subconsciously think things like, “it’s a Christian book by a Christian author…it must be accurate and true!”  These books may or may not be accurate or biblically correct.  Regardless, we tend to take their claims way over the top.  This is often damaging to the Christian church and to an unbelieving world who sees right through the B.S.

A few examples in my brief experience:

The Prayer of Jabez
By Bruce Wilkinson
This book was published in 2000 and focuses on an Old Testament passage from 1 Chronicles 4:9-10.  The passage states:

And Jabez called on the God of Israel saying, “Oh that you would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory, that your hand would be with me, and that you would keep me from evil, that I may not cause pain!  So God granted him what he requested.”

Is there anything wrong with that prayer?  No, of course there is not.  The prayer isn’t the problem with this book – the prayers are the problem.  Many readers of this book interpret this as a “prayer formula,” through which we can get whatever it is we want from God.  So millions of people buy the book and pray the prayer… hoping God will make them handsome, rich and wise.  God doesn’t answer the prayer how they want and they get mad at God and mad at the book and look for “the next big thing.”

The Purpose Driven Life
By Rick Warren
I have enormous amounts of respect for Rick Warren and Saddleback Church.  I think it breaks Warren’s heart when he sees the ways that millions of Christians distort the overall message of his book.  The opening line, “it’s not about you,” is powerful and is intended to set the tone for the rest of the book.  Instead, readers forget the opening line and search through the rest of the book to find their purpose for their own desires instead of finding God’s purpose for God’s desires.  Through this interpretation, the book becomes nothing more than a self help book.  When the reader cannot find their purpose, they move on to “the next big thing.”

Your Best Life Now: 7 Steps to Living at Your Full Potential
By Joel Osteen
The first edition of this 7 step self-help book sold 3 million copies.  Joel Osteen was then given a $13 million dollar advance to write his second book.  Enough said.

Pagan Christianity
By Frank Viola and George Barna
My friend, Josh, describes this book as “The Purpose Driven Life of our generation.”  If you are not familiar with this book, here is the summary:

Have you ever wondered why we Christians do what we do for church every Sunday morning? Why do we “dress up” for church? Why does the pastor preach a sermon each week? Why do we have pews, steeples, choirs, and seminaries? This volume reveals the startling truth: most of what Christians do in present-day churches is not rooted in the New Testament, but in pagan culture and rituals developed long after the death of the apostles. Coauthors Frank Viola and George Barna support their thesis with compelling historical evidence in the first-ever book to document the full story of modern Christian church practices.

The idea behind this book is great.  We should be questioning why we do the things we do (that is point of this entire website!).  However, here is the problem with this book.  The authors assume that the early church was somehow the ultimate authority on how church should look.  Forgetting the fact that the first church existed 2,000 years ago in a culture completely different from ours with different social tendencies and different spiritual understandings, people read this book and assume it has to be correct. The first church MUST be the way church should be done.

Now let me describe to you what is happening.  As they often do, Christians are taking the message of this book over the top.  They read the book then look around at the current church they attend and become disgusted because the church doesn’t have it figured out like they do.  So they decide to leave their church to start a home church with a few other people.  Then you talk to them 3 months later and ask how the home church is going – turns out it never started and they just haven’t been to church in 3 months.  They spend their Sunday mornings playing MarioKart Wii and catching up on episodes of Scrubs.

I am fully aware that the Christian Church today is severely flawed.  It is made up of people; it’s going to be jacked up sometimes.  If we (the church) are the bride of Christ, then the best term to describe us would probably be a whore.  However, that does not mean we should just give up and leave the church.

To put it into an analogy, it’s like someone was having some hard times in their marriage, so without ever seeking counseling or help, they just left their marriage and allowed the family to struggle with their issues on their own.  The person set out to start a new, more perfect family but have not been able to find it.

What I am not saying is that Christian all books are intrinsically bad.

What I am not saying is that we shouldn’t read any Christian books.

What I am saying is we cannot and should not believe everything that we read.  We need to research, poke, prod, test and think about what a book is communicating.

What are your thoughts?  Have you ever accepted a book to be the new magic formula for Christianity, only to realize later it wasn’t?  What Christian books have you come across which you feel have done more harm than good to the cause of Christ?